Baking bread seems so daunting and time consuming at times (which explains why it's been over a year since I've done it), but when I made this recipe the other day it was such a fond memory to enjoy the way it feels to go through the steps of the mixing and rising and smell that wonderful baking bread smell in the kitchen. This recipe is particularly aromatic because of the rosemary (which is very mild tasting in the end) and really easy (as far as making bread from scratch goes anyway). I did use my kitchen aid to knead it which takes out some of the labor and if I hadn't had the kids at home from school I probably would have done it by hand just for the physicality of kneading dough (stress relieving). It required more flour than they stated (and I didn't know if that was because of the mixmaster or not). Yes, I know I could probably waltz into a bakery and buy something just as good but in the end it is a very gratifying feeling to produce a delicious loaf of bread made from scratch, if you've never tried it before you should try this recipe!
Thank you Dr. Harris for putting into words (click here to see his commentary) just one piece of the struggle that I have with continuing to be a doctor.
This weekend, we got to take the kids to their first Major League Baseball game thanks to my thoughtful boss, Sue, who offered us tickets. It was great!
The kids had a blast - eating way too much tasty stadium food, waving their foam finger and foam tomahawk, watching the fireworks explode after a home run and dancing to the funky beats that would thump the seats during non-play time.
They are now official baseball lovers. Nate was trying to pitch just like the pros during the game - lifting his one leg in the air and jerking his body forward to throw his strike. (We had to keep telling to be careful not to hurt himself in the limited space he had near his seat.) Nia enjoyed reading the program with her daddy. He would point out each player as they came to bat and tell her how they did the last time they took the plate and what position they played.
Since we got home from the game, all Nate wants to do is play ball. When we're in the house we pretend that we are pitching to him and he swings a foam bat - he will only take off running if we make firework noises and the tomahawk chop because that meant he had a home run.
Tonight, we put pretend aside and had the kids batter up outside. We all took turns pitching, hitting and playing catcher, even as a few sprinkles fell on us. Nate and Nia hit a few "home runs" but it was Daddy who hit it out of the park.
A baseball family has been born!
I just finished this book (on CD) and wanted to share a little review of it. I don’t typically like books that fall into the “self help” category. Not that they are bad, but I feel like it is sort of a messy area because people are often spouting their own theory about whatever topic or field where they are an “expert” without a lot of evidence. And usually they present one sort of “key” that only they possess that will fix everything in an overly simplistic approach. But I was at the bookstore looking for a book on CD (because I get tired of listening to music sometimes on my commute to work). This caught my eye because one of my friends had taken a sort of “happiness” class and I thought maybe this was the same guy. It is a topic I’m interested in exploring because it seems so elusive (happiness that is).
Listening to this book was a very positive experience. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to listen to it all over again because I didn’t catch everything the first time through. There is a lot of repetition of the same concepts but they are fairly heavy ideas and so I think you almost have to hear them over and over to begin to change the way you conceptualize happiness. He suggests that his book is more of a “meditation” on the topic of happiness and I think that is accurate, there are no real “steps” that you have to take but he does offer some exercises and some ways to change the way we think that might let us see the happiness we already have in our lives and in ourselves. Nothing he said was earth shattering, but I found each chapter pushing me toward a much needed paradigm shift. I guess I’ve always known this about myself but he helped me see that I have two large stumbling blocks in the way of my own happiness: futuristic thinking and dysfunctional independence. I’m the person that enjoys planning the vacation so much that by the time I get to the vacation I’m already planning the next thing and I don’t enjoy what I’m doing at the moment. The dysfunctional independence has been obvious to me for a long time but I’ve just never really tried to change, partly because it has a positive feedback loop. But I see now that I should work on that, that I should let go of some of that control and by doing that I will probably let go of some of my stress. I’ve always felt like my “to do” list was way too long and that I can’t be happy until I get through the list. I’m realizing that when everything is finally done I will probably be dead and then it will be too late to be happy and so I’m going to try to turn that around.
I’ve tried two of the exercises he recommends (there are probably around 10-15 in the book) and found them very valuable. One is to sit down and imagine where you are at on a happiness scale (0-100%) and then write down what would need to happen for you to be 10% happier RIGHT NOW. Not after you get a raise, not after the kids are grown up, but right this moment what would make you 10% happier. I thought this was good, because I actually can’t conceptualize what 100% happiness would be and so a 10% increase is something I can imagine and something that I can change. I’ll share with you what mine was: “to have one meaningful moment with my kids every day.” You might be thinking that it is sad that I don’t already have that, but it’s not that those moments don’t exist, they do, I’m just not recognizing them and appreciating them, so I’m going to work on that. Then you do a 20% increase, etc until you get to 100%. The other exercise I liked was the “no complaints” exercise where you monitor your own thinking process to see how much you complain (to yourself) or out loud. It’s amazing what a whiner I am to myself! I made a conscious effort to recognize the complaint and then let it go or do something about it if it was valid and I thought it was positive, I felt better afterward. I’m looking forward to doing some more of the exercises when I go back through the CD’s a second time. In the end, I think just the reminder that he gave me to sit and think about happiness and to think about being present in my own life and enjoy the abundance that is right in front of me is an invaluable lesson that I hope I don’t forget anytime soon.
Her new black shoes, supposed to still be in the box, are on her feet as she prances around the house. They sparkle and she loves them. She loves the dress she picked to wear on the first day as well, but I won't let her hold a dress rehearsal. The dress needs to stay clean.
She tells me she wants me to put her hair in sponge curlers like her Lola did. (Something I've never done before.) Her Hannah Montana backpack from Honey is packed and waiting to be worn. She's all set.
Meanwhile, I nervously try to wrap the strands of her hair around the pink curlers. The big ones go on top right? Am I using too much hair? Andrew: I don't think that's how my mom does it. Nia: It feels like when Lola does it. Me: Nia, I hope you won't be too sad if you don't have curls tomorrow.
She wakes up with waves instead of curls. They work just fine and she is happy with them. (Phew.) Her backpack still looks giant on her even though she's grown. Nate and I walk her to the bus and take what will be our traditional first day of school picture. (You have them too, right?)
She says her first day was fun and that she even talked out loud in class. She said they could only talk when they held the bear. When it was her turn, she told everyone that her name was Antonia (or Nia, she couldn't remember what name she used and she points this out to everyone she tells the story to), that she liked playing outside and with her Barbies, that she was a 10 for the day (they measured how they were feeling like a thermometer) and that her favorite food was her mommy's spaghetti. (Awesome!) She told me everyone is nice, even the boy who was mean last year. (Phew, again.)
The First Week
Nia was the "helper" for the week with a boy named Anthony (also ruled nice by Nia). She brought home homework each night - it was already finished by the time I got to see it. Eight spelling words like a, at, cat, the and counting objects and filling in the missing numbers. ("It's too easy," she says. I tell her to keep doing her best and that I'm sure it will get harder.) I was supposed to read her a story each night but she read the story to me. (And skipped ahead in the book.) On one homework assignment, she was supposed to put the words in alphabetical order - she did that sure, but then she spelled out other words that began with the other letters (even, first ...).
She told me she didn't like Phys. Ed. - that they made her do jumping jacks and she had to count them like this, 1,2,3,1 - 1,2,3,2 - 1,2,3,3 - and she counted them all out to 10 for me. She then asked, "Momma, what keeps our heart from bouncing around in our bodies?" "What color is our heart?" What does it look like? Where are our lungs? How does our brain stay up in our head?" ... I tried to answer as many of them as I could. (I now call her the Constant Questioner because I feel like she just keeps firing them at us all day. One of my favorites, "Who made God?" I didn't even know where to begin.)
Congratulations on your first week of first grade Bean! It's so much fun sharing in your adventures and your stories (heck, even your questions!).
All of those children seemed to tower over her too. If she's not the tiniest first grader I'll be surprised. She still looks like a Kindergartner and I guess I still wish she was one.
This is scary and I'm nervous. I just want her to be ok. I am fearful about what this first grade year will hold for her. Will she be shy the whole year? There is only one kid in this class that she had class with last year and according to Nia, he wasn't nice. I know I can't protect her from everything. I know she's going to have hurt feelings, have to deal with mean kids and learn by making mistakes but I just want her to be ok.
Despite the shyness, she still seems happy. That should be good enough for me, right?
I haven’t been writing much lately and it’s because all of this damn running is tiring me out! I ran 27 miles this week and my body is plain exhausted. I am sleeping a lot more than usual which is good in terms of keeping up energy, except it keeps me from all of the things I used to do after the kids go to bed (work, read, knit, blog, etc.). The training is still going well and I’m actually enjoying it more and more each week. In a way it’s the only “me” time that I get during my week and so I revel in that and allow myself to ruminate and contemplate and ponder my way through the mileage. So far this month I’m injury free, I’m having some knee pain here and there but it seems manageable and directly related to running hills. I haven’t missed a workout yet, which is shocking considering the chaos our lives have been with work and deliveries and nanny problems I’ve had over the past couple of months.
On a very practical level I am learning to use all the various sugar products during a run. I like the Luna little jelly things ok, and I’m going to start using the jelly bean type products, more because they don’t stick to your teeth as much and they don’t have the same gross consistency of “gu” (it sort of makes me gag to think about it). I continue to use the “throw sugar at the problem” rule. Today I started getting horrible stomach cramps halfway through my run, and I was super hot and felt nauseous. 100 calories of straight sugar and a cup of water later and I was fine for the next 4 miles. It works so I’ll stick with it for now.
And just so I can bitch a little, wouldn’t you expect someone who has been running more than 23 miles a week for over a month to lose weight? I’ve actually gained 4 pounds, WHAT THE HELL!? I should have never weighed myself, because weight loss is not my goal, finishing the race at less than 12 minute miles is my goal. I just sort of thought weight loss would be a pleasant side effect. But I guess it’s not. And don’t even tell me that it’s muscle, because I don’t believe that for one second. It’s my ravenous hunger is what it is. I go out and burn 800 calories and how much does my body want to consume? 1600, at least. Someone said the other day, “but isn’t running supposed to suppress your appetite?” Maybe, but not for me I guess, I’ve sort of always been that way, I once ate fried chicken before racing a mile (swimming) and swam one of my best times ever so I don’t really have that problem. Andy told me he has heard of an ultra-marathon runner who will order a pizza to go, pick it up, and eat the entire thing, all while running. So I guess I’m not alone. I am hoping that at some point my body will adjust a little bit and won’t want to sleep and eat all of the time!
